Being at Home

Being at Home

Although he was a Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. Hebrews 5:8

As I focus more on my inner life I sometimes perceive a huge wall of stone within that I have carefully built over the years to protect myself. Now though, it seems as if the Spirit living in me is removing some of the stones from my wall to create a sort of cave inside—a cave that is gradually opening out into a safe dwelling place with God and with many others. This is very scary and hurtful for me, but I keep trying to let it happen. As I am emptied out, I feel grateful that I can receive more people into my inner space. Instead of saying, “These stones belong to me and I do not want you to remove them,” I am being invited to say, “I am very afraid to let go, but because I trust in your love for me, I trust in your help and I will cooperate with you.” Meanwhile, God is saying, “Let me remove your stones and blockages and learn to be grateful because it will provide more space in your life.”

Gratitude is believing that when stones are taken out from the wall, God is building a cave where we can receive others and really experience true family and true community. A grateful life is when we give thanks because what is happening to us politically or socially, or in our families, or in our personal journeys, is the molding hand of a loving Parent, transforming our hearts by love.

Although it can be uncomfortable and frightening, God, I want to be molded according to your love.

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