Dancing With the Spirit

John 16: 12-15 (NRSV)
"I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, because he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine. For this reason I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you."

I expect to hear Jesus speak to me through the Holy Spirit. Don't we all? I have cultivated a desire to hear His voice and have been practicing. I have been listening for how His voice differs from the voices of the world and studying my shepherd's Word to know Him better. "My sheep hear my voice. I know them and they follow me." (John 10:27)

He knows me. Of course He does. He will never ask me to do anything He has not already equipped me to handle. In my head, at least, I have prepared myself beforehand to obey whatever I hear Him ask of me.

Then it happened. He wanted me to deliver a message. He gave me a "word" and made it very clear who it was intended for. The Spirit quickened within me. My heart pounded. My head asked for confirmation, "Is that really You, Lord?" Tears welled up in my eyes. I was on the verge of sobbing. Deep breath, Jim. Fear not! Yeah, right. The weight of the responsibility weighed heavily on my heart. I'm scared. I know what the Old Testament penalty is for false prophecy. Holy, Jesus! Now what?

I connected with the intended hearer and delivered the word just as I heard it. It was only four sentences. No big deal, right? But the words felt like they came from some place far away, away from time, away from my understanding. They rumbled out of my mouth like boulders. Boulders of great love, great hope, great coming joy falling on the heart and soul of the hearer. I gave them birth, directed them, but now they have a life of their own. My job is done. I am exhausted. Spent. Peace falls upon me. My spirit rests.

Words coming from the Father through Jesus carried on the wind of the Spirit of Truth have great creative power. My words are nothing but dust in comparison. These words will either be validated by time or dissipate on an earthly wind into nothing.

Lord, I know you have many more things to say to me, but I cannot bear them right now. Allow me time to rest, to rest in You. Just let me lie here and try to grasp what just happened. Am I willing to do this dance again? Perhaps. Maybe someday. But not now.

... That was last week.v Every time I think I have this faith walk thing figured out, Jesus throws open a whole new door and shows me a brand new hallway I have never seen before. There are so many rooms in His house. So many more to discover. What a wonder-filled journey this is.

... This is this morning.

Lord, I am ready! Offer your hand to me again. I'll get up and dance with you anytime.

[DG]
Great words.

I know HIS voice – I have heard it many times – I know the fear you speak of – BUT it gets easier to act each time you respond – sort of like jumping off the high diving tower at the pool for the first time – it is REAL fear – but then the next time you still have fear, but not as much.

I so much enjoy the newsletter you produce – thanks.

[KJ]
There is a place within me, within us all, where despair sits huddled close in chilly anticipation. Many people think despair is something which only appears after a tragedy and, while this is true, despair is present through much of our lives. Rushing home from work, remembering that a crucial part of a task had been left undone? There it is. A child's panic upon discovering their favorite toy is missing? There it is. The panic of discovering your checking account is overdrawn? There it is.

Jesus understands the presence of despair within the joyful abandon of life's dance. He understands it in the Garden of Gesthename, the 40 days in the desert, the temptations of the Devil and, most of all, he understands it in the eyes of the lepers, the hopeless, the lonely, the bereft.

To have such a Friend as this, to have such a Brother, what a gift this is.

So, yes, the voice of Jesus echoes in my heart, rumbling around as the thunder rolls through a mountain range. God the Father, Jesus the Son, Holy Spirit, you three know me, even more than I know myself, and when I grumble, this noise is nothing compared with the thunder of your love.

Shalom

 
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