Seeking God's Voice

Exodus 19: 16-19 (NRSV)
On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, as well as a thick cloud on the mountain, and a blast of a trumpet so loud that all the people who were in the camp trembled. Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet God. They took their stand at the foot of the mountain. Now Mount Sinai was wrapped in smoke, because the Lord had descended upon it in fire; the smoke went up like the smoke of a kiln, while the whole mountain shook violently. As the blast of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses would speak and God would answer him in thunder.

Exodus 20: 18-21 (NRSV)
When all the people witnessed the thunder and lightning, the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking, they were afraid and trembled and stood at a distance, and said to Moses, "You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, or we will die." Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid; for God has come only to test you and to put the fear of him upon you so that you do not sin." Then the people stood at a distance, while Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was.

"Um, Moses? Can we come with you and watch while you talk to God?"

Like a good sitter, Moses assures them, "Sure you can. But you've been playing outside all day and your faces are all dirty, you have mud on your hands, and your clothes are all full of sand. Let's clean up first."

After three days of cleansing, Gods' children with shining faces and clean clothes were prepared to watch God speak. It was story time. Or so they thought. This was not exactly a "Good morning boys and girls" sort of moment. No, when God came down He spoke with thunder and lightning. He spoke over the din of a ear-splitting trumpet blast. The words from the Creator's mouth shook the foundations of Creation itself. The people were filled with fear and trembling.

"Um, Moses? On second thought, you speak to God. We'll go back to playing in the sandbox waaaaay over there and you can just tell us later what He said. We'll do what He says. Honest! OK?"

Thus was born the priesthood. As an Episcopal priest, Barbara Brown Taylor sees her role much like Moses did. Turn and listen to God. Return and speak to the people. But what do you do when you turn to listen and God is silent?

[When God is Silent, Barbara Brown Taylor] This game of divine hide and seek is part of God's pedagogy in Isaiah, which makes silence a vital component of God's speech. Tragically, the game often backfires. Like restless children easily distracted, the people seek God for a little while and then go off to make mud pies, without ever discovering God's hiding place.

I have been to the outer reaches of God's hiding place. There is no mistaking it. It is a place, that for me, was flooded with an indescribable awe-filled presence which body-slammed me to the ground, sobbing, arms raised and outstretched, pleading for Him not to come any closer.

That was years ago. Do I dare pray that to happen again?

Exodus 19: 5,6 Now therefore, if you obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession out of all the peoples. Indeed, the whole earth is mine, but you shall be for me a priestly kingdom and a holy nation….

Lord, I pray I shall never tire of seeking Your voice. I seek you in the silence of the morning, the silence between the lines of Your Word, and in the silence of Your spirit-breath flowing through me. Help me obey your every command and lead me to the priesthood available to all who believe in You. Amen.