1 Tim. 1:12-16 (The Message)
[12] I'm so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work. He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry. [13] The only credentials I brought to it were invective and witch hunts and arrogance. But I was treated mercifully because I didn't know what I was doing-didn't know Who I was doing it against! [14] Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus. [15] Here's a word you can take to heart and depend on: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. I'm proof-Public Sinner Number One- [16] of someone who could never have made it apart from sheer mercy. And now he shows me off-evidence of his endless patience-to those who are right on the edge of trusting him forever.

This week's meditation comes from Paul's letter to Timothy. In it, Paul writes of his amazement that he (Paul) could be chosen to minister to others. He is even more amazed that God was showing him off as a model for others. How could that work? He used to curse and murder Christians for a living!

I find this even more amazing in light of the covenant God cut with Abraham. Paul knew very well that God promised to "…bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you." Paul's punishment for cursing the new Israel deserved to be a curse from God, not a blessing.

When I try to picture myself as a minister of the New Covenant to those around me, it seems hard. I would hate to look stupid or say the wrong thing at the wrong time or tick someone off. But God is not calling me to be another Paul or another Mother Teresa. He is not calling me to be the best there is, only to be adequate. I think I can handle adequate. That actually sounds achievable. Jesus doesn't want me to excel at this ministry thing, or to try to be perfect. Far from it. I only need to show up…and trust Him to do the rest through me.

Thank you Lord for your endless patience. You certainly have been waiting for me to trust You with my life and my work for a really, really long time. I am just on the edge of figuring out what all that means. Help me up over the wall of my resistance and into the workplace of Your Kingdom.  Amen.