This is it. The last week of school! Warmer weather, trips to the pool, vacations, sporting events, summer is here!

I recently read a post “Parenting Teens in the Summer” by Shellie Hochstetler and I would love to summarize some of her ideas for finishing the school year well and heading in to the summer season.

Challenge your kids to stay focused. It’s hard to stay focused during the last week of school. One idea is to reward students for good grades. Set goals for each final test or grade. Then determine an appropriate award, not a bribe, but a celebration of goal’s met and a job well done! Then, when grades come out, if your kids have met their goals, deliver on the reward! This could be money or activities or opportunities, determine what is appropriate for your family. Giving them both a goal and an incentive helps them stay on track this last week.

Keep your kids busy. Summer often means more freedom and time. For many students this season also yields temptation. When teens get bored, trouble can sometimes follow. Now, the best solution is not cramming their days full of meaningless activities, rather make sure they have plenty to do, so that your kids don’t end up brainstorming on their own! Some ideas are catching up with family friends (that means parent times for you!), going to neighborhood/city-wide activities (look online!) or coming to church events! (we have AWESOME events planned!)

Enjoy parenting!  Finally, let’s be honest, your students weren’t the only ones who had a long school year. You’ve been just as busy as your students and even more so! So it can become easy to just let go and let teens “enjoy” their spring or summer. However, without the rigorous load from school and activities, summer is the perfect time for you to spending time together! Be intentional about creating meaningful time with your students. You aren’t battling their busy schedules, so create time for family memories, surprises, laughter, and conversation. Enjoy the moments you have with your kids.

We hope these ideas encourage you as you head into summer! But these are just our thoughts. We’d love to hear from you! What are some ways YOU are going to maximize the summer months with your teen?

-Nicole

Parents-I came across another great blog post this week and wanted to pass it along to you. It speaks to the significance of playing and games for brain development. At CRASH we play a LOT of games. We have fun, we laugh, we build community, and we intend to positively impact students in their development. This blog post explains how the games at CRASH intend to do that. I hope you find this article helpful, feel free to leave comments! 

-Nicole 

Executive Function: Skills for School and Life

Posted by Erin Walsh • April 29

I found this post on a blog recently, written by Erin Walsh back in 2012 and wanted to share it with you parents. So enjoy, feel free to leave comments and start a conversation!

-Nicole

“Being introduced as a “parenting expert” before speaking engagements always feels a bit uncomfortable. It is not because I don’t think that I bring value to parents. I am passionate about the information I get to share and I have seen it give parents more confidence. But parenting is probably the vocation in which no one can claim to be a universal expert. There is no SINGLE recipe for raising thriving kids. There are no silver bullets or foolproof methods.

We are all experts

There is only us parents, trying to do our very best by our kids. We are each both expert and novice in every moment.  We are expert in that we know our kids best. If we are doing our job, we SEE them. We see their fears and vulnerabilities, their strengths and courage. We are novice in that change is constant and we are wonderfully and maddeningly human. If we are doing our job, we FEEL our own fears and vulnerabilities, our strengths and our courage.

The science of thriving

This isn’t to say that there isn’t plenty of great information and research that can guide us. There may not be a single recipe, but there are key ingredients. Michael Resnick at the University of Minnesota likens these ingredients to the nutrients in the soil that allow plants to grow. All kids need them…

We know that kids need connection. We know they need boundaries and high expectations. We know that they need to feel valued and heard. We know that they need opportunities to let their interests grow. These ingredients constitute the science of thriving.

The art of parenting is knowing how to throw these ingredients together on any given day. For different kids. While cooking breakfast. The important thing isn’t that we perfect a recipe, it is that we have the pantry stocked with the right ingredients and that we work hard to provide them for our kids. With healthy portions of humble laughter thrown into the mix we are probably doing just fine.

The art of growth

I’ve written a lot about importance of nurturing a growth mindset in our children. Carol Dweck’s research has shown us that children with a fixed mindset believe that their intelligence and abilities are fixed traits and that talent is what leads to success, not effort.

In contrast, a growth mindset celebrates struggle. Children with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through persistence and hard work. They see that falling down and getting back up again are part of living and learning. A growth mindset does not seek to document and protect perfection. A growth mindset recognizes that we are all expert and novice in every moment.

We can nurture a growth mindset in our kids by allowing them to experience appropriate struggle and build resilience, and teaching them that being their best selves can be found through practice, effort, and often, in mistakes.

Parenting with a growth mindset

I was chatting with a defeated parent on the phone last week, a conversation that sparked this entire blog post. ‘I think I have been raising my kids all wrong! I wish I had known some of this stuff before I had kids. Is it too late? I think I have failed somehow.’

I hear things like this from parents too often. Parenting is not a pass or fail enterprise. It is not a fixed ability that either leads to successful kids or doesn’t. It is something that we work at, day in and day out. Some days we are our best selves. Other days not so much. Then we work to mend it.

So certainly do your homework, read what makes sense to you, and learn new strategies and tips. I think that the world of brain science is exciting, informative, and helpful. But don’t forget to own your own expertise. Lean into it. And to celebrate your novice. It is part of the struggle through which the best parenting is born.

What a powerful model for our kids.”

-Erin Walsh

http://drdavewalsh.com/posts/ask/136

The most important step to helping your teen get excited about their faith is to represent a faith relationship in your own life. Live by example.
 Pray with your student and encourage them to pray on their own.
 When you pray with your teen, pray about your issues of need as well as theirs. Let them know that you struggle with things too. Share the things that you are in need of so that your teen can pray for you. This helps them to see who God truly is when their prayers are answered.

Also let them be themselves!
 Sometimes as Christian parents we get stuck in the notion of what being Christian looks like, but each generation has a path that looks a little different. We are stuck in traditional mode when it comes to appearance and dress code.
 God tells us to come as we are. The Bible says that God does not look on outward appearance like humans do, but God looks upon the heart. Look to see where your child’s heart is.
Once the heart is right the proper appearance will often follow. I think the change needs to come from within before it can change the outward.
 Teenagers need to feel accepted not only by friends but also by God. By encouraging your teen in their walk with Jesus instead of criticizing them, you are drawing them closer to God.


I heard this the other day so I pass it on to you. Don’t make your kids “drug kids!”
 A drug kid is a kid that is drug to church, drug to church activities, drug to… I think you get the idea. The life of faith is not all about church. Yes church is an important part of the faith walk but it is not our primary responsibility. The primary responsibility of the believer is to build the kingdom of God. Your child will be more effective at kingdom building if you allow them to be themselves.
 Make church a required part of your family routine. But,encourage your teen to attend youth group or Bible study don’t force them. They will go more willingly if it’s an option instead of a requirement.

Let your teen praise God their way.
Christian music has changed over the years. But so have Christians.
 Music ministers to the soul. Certain songs have a way of touching our very soul and lead us into deeper worship. Some Christians worship the Lord through hyms, some through gospel etc…
Whatever type of Christian music that your teen enjoys listening to, I encourage you to let them listen to it. You may not agree with it because it does not minister to you or because it is not the Christian music that you are accustomed to but your teen is trying to determine how they best connect to God.

We live in a fast paced world that is ever changing. We also live in a world that caters to the youth. 
They will find their place in this world one way or another. It will be a place where they are accepted, where they can be themselves. So… how about at home? The Bible says “Train up a child in the way they should go: and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) It all starts with you, Mom and Dad!

-Jeff Lindsay

We are blessed with incredible volunteers in the youth ministry at Colonial. In fact they are the lifeline of this ministry. From student leaders to adult leaders, they bring the energy, enthusiasm, and ability to create a person connection for students. They are important and beloved people in the lives of your students and we want you to know who they are!

So each month, here on the blog, we will have a volunteer interview! Stay tuned every month to catch an insight into the lives of those who have been impacting your students.

This month our interview is with Adam Larkin. Adam has grown up at Colonial, he has been a children’t ministry leader, a Pyro counselor, and a leader at CRASH for 2 years with the 7th grade boys! Adam has an outgoing and bubbly personality that attracts all types of students! Whether he is bringing little children or middle schoolers to know Christ, having a blast at camp or even developing deeper relationships with fellow high schoolers, Adam shares joy and love with everyone around him. We are deeply blessed by Adam in so many ways!

So take some time and get to know Adam!

1. How did you first become involved with Colonial Church?

I have been going to Colonial for my entire life

2. What made you want to volunteer in the ministry here?

I first started volunteering with my mom when she started doing stuff in the nursery wing.

3. Favorite/ Most meaningful scripture verse?

Psalm 23- The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

4. How has volunteering here affected/shaped your faith?

Volunteering at Colonial has given me a different perspective on how God works through different people. I see how the 4 and 5 year olds are affected by Christ and have such a willingness and eagerness to learn, as well as the middle school Crash kids. I also learn about different parts of the scripture that I may not come across on my own.

5. Favorite youth group memory?

As a youth group leader I have a ton of awesome memories from small group with my 7th grade guys. Trench always brings good memories too.

6. What is your favorite middle school memory?

At Winter Pyro, I had Eric Atherton and Henry Jensen as my counselors. One of the mattresses was on the floor and Eric was convinced he could do a backflip on it. After about fifteen minutes of “preparation” he decided he couldn’t do it. Then Henry walks in and asked whats going on. We told him Eric wimped out of doing a backflip. He then proceeded to walk up and do a backflip on the mattress after thinking about it for about 5 seconds.

7. Basic info: Age, where are you from, Occupation?

8. Plans for the future?

I am going to join my brother Zak at Luther College in Decorah, IA this fall, to study Chemistry

9. How can we pray for you as you serve in the youth ministry?

Pray that the 7th grade boys don’t make me go crazy!

10. Would you rather get in a fight with 100 duck sized horses, or one horse sized duck?

One horse sized duck so I could tame it, then ride it around and save a ton on gas

On March 20 I returned from a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. Fifteen Colonial members, including three high school students, partnered with Impact Lives and served the community of Hato Mayor.

Our work included delivering meals (that Colonial packed), visiting homes, hospitals, nursing homes, and churches, where we prayed with community members, shared songs, and loved kids-a lot of kids. Every evening the Impact Lives staff then led us in leadership development, reflections on the day and practical ways to apply this experience into our lives back home.

It was a powerful week, and it reaffirmed my belief that mission work is significant to the world and in particular to students.

But what’s the real purpose of these trips?

Student mission trips have a range of purposes including, getting students out of their comfort zone, gaining cross-cultural experience, widening world-views and expanding their ministry potential. That’s the only way that the Church is ever going to unite across social, economic, and racial boundaries. These trips are teachable moments in order to further cultivate compassion in young lives.

While these are all good reasons, what’s at the heart of each mission trip is the commandment Jesus left his disciples: to be servants, both to each other and to the world. He commissioned the church in Acts 1, to make disciples of all nations, in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

Students in our youth ministry serve “Jerusalem” (their hometown) when they go out of their way to do something for friends, family and neighbors.

Students in our youth ministry serve “Judea” (their home land) when they partake in their Confirmation Class mission trip to a location within the US, this year to Duluth.

Students in our youth ministry serve “Samaria” (other nations) when they participate in trips like this to distant countries, such as the DR.

Jesus’ ministry was a living example to the Church. When he went from town to town, he served. When he fed crowds with fish and bread, he served. At the Last Supper, he became a servant to his disciples by washing their feet.

His example to us is to serve. However our mission trips are not only about serving. They are also about sharing Jesus with those to whom we serve. The world is capable of bringing charity to those in need, but the world can’t offer Jesus. When we take students on mission trips, we’re creating opportunities for students to become servants, for the glory of Jesus.

-Nicole

Despite the melting ice and thaw a week ago, winter is still here and not quite gone yet. For some people this can be a little depressing, but for me I enjoy this time of year. We get to experience the beauty of winter, the hope of spring, and the anticipation of summer all in a matter of weeks! I love it! The transition of seasons and variety of weather make me aware of all the changes going on around me. The subtle nuances and beauty that otherwise might be missed in the discomfort of cold and snow are now very clear and present.

What I find a little ironic and amazing is that these changes in weather and calendar coincide with Lent. During the Lent season we purposefully focus on Christ and his sacrifice on the cross. We also fast from the normal comforts of our lives to help aid in our determined focus. These conscious changes help us experience a small example of the discomfort Christ went through and, hopefully, gain a renewed appreciation for our savior and his sacrifice.

The flip side of that coin is that we can easily miss this experience. How often do we blow past the beauty of Christ and his death? Weather you are busy in life and stressed with responsibility, or bored with religion and what you think it means to be a Christian; it is easy to keep Jesus’ resurrection out of focus in our lives.

This week I challenge all of you readers with a single question, what does refocusing on Christ mean to you and your faith? The question is for you to ponder and answer in time. Just like the changing of the seasons, Jesus’ death and resurrection hold so much beauty, meaning, and importance. Take time this week to enjoy Jesus and the changing seasons. Remember that the warmth of summer is right around the corner and hope springs eternal in Jesus Christ.

-Aaron

We are blessed with incredible volunteers in the youth ministry at Colonial. In fact they are the lifeline of this ministry. From student leaders to adult leaders, they bring the energy, enthusiasm, and ability to create a person connection for students. They are important and beloved people in the lives of your students and we want you to know who they are!

So each month, here on the blog, we will have a volunteer interview! Stay tuned every month to catch an insight into the lives of those who have been impacting your students.

This month our interview is with Erin Marshall. Erin has grown up at Colonial, was a Pyro counselor, leader at CRASH for 2 years and is now following her same group of girls into Collision! Erin could be described as fun, outgoing, energetic and always makes everyone laugh. She knows how to have fun at youth group while simulatenously, she has a deep connection with the girls she leads and they truly look up to her. We are blessed by Erin in so many ways!

So take some time and get to know Erin!

Ive been going to Colonial since I can remember, I was both baptized and confirmed at Colonial.

2. What made you want to volunteer in the ministry here?

Growing up I went to JPF which was the equivalent to crash back in the day, I also went to Pyro and I always had so much fun and a great group of friends and amazing leaders that helped me grow in my faith. It is such an honor to give that back.

3. Favorite/ Most meaningful scripture verse?

I Corinthians 13:13 “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

4. How has volunteering here affected/shaped your faith?

I never expected to learn so much while being a small group leader, but every time I meet with my girls I see God’s love in each of them, it’s really amazing and awesome.

5. Favorite youth group memory?

Probably some of the super secret but hilarious small group times. Getting to know each of these girls better and better each week and now into years makes me so happy.

6. What is your favorite middle school memory?

Hmmm I was a super awkward middle schooler so looking back is super funny, I once sang and danced by myself to Britney spears “hit me baby one more time” for the school talent show. Im not sure it’s a fond memory but its definitely a funny one.

7. Tell us a little about you.

I’m 24, from Eagan now living in Mound, currently a student at the U of M as well as a server.

8. Plans for the future?

Getting my PharmD and moving somewhere warm and sunny.

9. How can we pray for you as you serve in the youth ministry?

For my ever growing and evolving relationship with Christ, and that I can share his message.

10. Would you rather get in a fight with 100 duck sized horses, or one horse sized duck?

Easy, one horse sized duck. There is way too much strength in numbers, those little horses would take me down!

I am fortunate to be a part of the staff for an organization called Youth Leadership. An incredible organization that educates, equips, and encourages youth workers right here in the Twin Cities.  A seminar we just offered this past Thursday was entitled “Ministry to Messy Families.”

As I sat there, I started to think more about “Messy Families” and what a great term this is to describe family life. As I think about my family, my friend’s families, the families that I interact with at church, I come to the (obvious) conclusion that no two families are alike! We are all unique and different.

There is no family quite like my own, which makes my family special and only mine. While that may be a joyful thought for some… it can be frightening for others.

For example, if I view my family in an unfavorable light, than the thought that no family is like mine, makes me feel alone. If no one is like my family, than how could anyone understand what I am going through? How could anyone relate to me? How do I know how to handle this? It can be an isolating thought.

Our experiences in our families are uniquely ours. Your children’s experiences in your family are uniquely theirs. Your experience as a parent is uniquely yours. And if we’re honest with ourselves, how often do we end up with wandering thoughts about what life is like in other families?

-Why can’t my dad be home more like their dad?

-Why can’t my kids be as polite as their kids?

-Why can’t my mom and dad still be married?

-Why can’t my brother be nice to me like hers is?

And of course the big one, “Why can’t my family be normal?”

Well let me remind you of some good news today: There is no such thing as a “normal” family.

Especially prevalent in our culture today, we see families of all different shapes, sizes, numbers, and colors. Our families look differently, talk differently, act differently, relate differently, pray differently, fight differently and play differently.

With all those differences at work, it’s no wonder our families are messy. We are all messy and there can be no perfection in messiness. But there can be beauty.  Because it is beautiful that we have a God who would take the time to uniquely and purposefully craft each of our families to look exactly as they do.

The Psalmist says,

“For you created me in my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.”

-Psalm 139:13-14

There is no such thing as a normal family.

But the beauty is, that God did that on purpose. God put you in your family for a purpose and while His reasons may remain unclear for now, we can trust that God knows what He’s doing.

So may we stop trying to be “normal” and simply embrace the mess, trusting that as the Lord declares in Isaiah 55, “my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my way.” And be thankful that we have the church; a place where all our messy families can come together, just as we are, to worship the God who makes beauty out of messiness.

-Nicole

Hello, hello
I hope you are having a great week and that you are finding God’s grace in new ways everyday. I am coming off a busy week that included the Confrash retreat at Camp Courage, our annual staff retreat in Redwing, MN and a long Wednesday getting ready for Confirmation and Collision. With all of that busyness and stress, I can honestly say it was an awesome week.

The Confrash retreat was a blast! I had so much fun hanging out with the Confirmation class all weekend and seeing God work in each of their lives. It was also great to see them grow closer as a group and build relationships with new people. It was a fun “retreat” from everyday life and a time to learn about God and grow deeper in faith.

The church staff’s annual retreat was great. We spent our time learning about the Red Wing Shoe Company and their cooperate philosophy/values. We also toured the factory and saw the complicated, yet still simple, process of making their world famous boots. It was inspiring to hear about the pride they take in making the best work boot money can buy. We also heard the stories of factory workers who have been with Redwing Shoes for over 40 years!

One of the biggest takeaways of the week for me was seeing God’s work in all of those experiences. There is a grand design and beauty that God incorporates into all aspects of life. Whether it’s a winter retreat with a bunch of junior highers and confirmands, a shoe company, or a long day preparing for church, God has sown meaning and importance into each of those experiences. It was a busy week with little down time, but it truly was an awesome week that has refreshed me in ways I did not know were possible. My hope for you is that God is showing you that same beauty and meaning in your week.

-Aaron

We are blessed with incredible volunteers in the youth ministry at Colonial. In fact they are the lifeline of this ministry. From student leaders to adult leaders, they bring the energy, enthusiasm, and ability to create a person connection for students. They are important and beloved people in the lives of your students and we want you to know who they are!

So each month, here on the blog, we will have a volunteer interview! Stay tuned every month to catch an insight into the lives of those who have been impacting your students.

This month our interview is with James Fairley. James has been a CRASH small group leader for 2 years and brings so much energy, wisdom and enthusiasm to the group! He has been a part of Colonial for years and we are so blessed by him, we love him!

So take some time and get to know James!

1. How did you first become involved with Colonial Church?
Two years ago I returned to Edina to live.  My Mom was involved with the WNL Kitchen Krew.  She suggested I “join” the team.  I volunteered in the kitchen and enjoyed it!  Two years later, I still help on Wednesdays in the kitchen.

2. What made you want to volunteer in the ministry here? 
Nicole Lindsay asked me to serve as a 6th grade boys leader.  When I was in high school, I helped with golf clinics and worked with young kids.  I enjoy kids and I felt I could be a positive influence.  Giving of my time as a youth leader is a way for me to give back to God.

3. Favorite/ Most meaningful scripture verse?
This verse has given me comfort and strength: Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous.  The your God will be with you wherever you go.”

4. How has volunteering here affected/shaped your faith? 
My faith has been strengthened and grown since I have been a youth leader.  The environment at church, the great people I serve with, the worship, and the connections with the boys in my group have contributed to the growth in my faith.

5. Favorite youth group memory? 
My most favorite memory of youth group is last years retreat at Covenant Pines.  I loved the entire trip and it was a great opportunity to get to know everyone a little better!

6. What is your favorite middle school memory? 
Any memory involving all of the sports I played.  I played soccer, basketball, baseball and golf.

7. Tell us a little about you.
I just had my 28th birthday.  I was born in Indianapolis, Indiana and have lived in Texas, Illinois, North Carolina and California.  I am looking for a job as an Assistant Golf Professional.  I am a PGA apprentice and am working towards being a PGA Class A member as a Head Pro somewhere.

8. What are some of your plans for the future? 
Working as a PGA teaching pro at a golf course.  Being involved in every aspect that it takes to run a golf course smoothly and successfully. (Little did James know, after he completed these interview James got that very job at a golf course in Indiana! He will be leaving CRASH in March-we are so sad to see him go, but thrilled for his upcoming experience!)

9. How can we pray for you as you serve in the youth ministry? 
Please pray that God will use me to make a difference in the lives of the boys in my group.  That the love of Jesus will shine through me.

10. Would you rather get in a fight with 100 duck sized horses, or one horse sized duck?
1 horse sized duck.  I wouldn’t be out numbered and it would be easier to evade/out smart a duck.

At CRASH, our middle school youth group, we end each week with small groups. Thirty minutes where students are broken up by age and gender, and have an opportunity to talk. And talk. And Talk.

As you might imagine, these small groups are each unique and wonderful in their own ways. The 8^th grade girls group is remarkably different from the 6^th grade boys small group. So with all these differences, how do we define “success” for these groups?  Well success will look different for different leaders, but for CRASH, I encourage our small group leaders to look for 3 outcomes.

–Students listening. Preteens are just beginning to develop empathy. It is a new skill, and like all new skills they need to be practiced before they become habitual. At this early adolescent stage, students are becoming less egocentric as empathy starts to blossom. Small groups serve as a place where they can develop this skill. They can hear one another and start to recognize the perspectives of others. So for students to sit and listen to the stories of others is a huge success, as they strengthen their ability to empathize.

–Students talking. How often does this scene play out in your home: your students come home, they head to the fridge for a snack, you ask them “how was your day?” and your student simply says, “good.” You search for more, but get an incomplete reaction. As with every developmental milestone, some skills come quickly for some students while others take more time. We see that especially with this skill of articulating thoughts. For some students this comes easily (girls), for others this takes more time (boys). So small groups serve as a place where students practice this out loud as they reflect on questions, reflect on the highs and lows of the day, and share that with one another. A student processing and articulating their thoughts is a huge success.

–Students praying together. Anytime students ask one another what they need prayer for and follow it up by actually praying together… that is true success. That is the church at work.

Small groups at CRASH are not intended to be silent rooms, where students sit perfectly still in a circle and give the appropriate church answers to questions. Small groups are meant to be a time of real community. And sometimes community is messy. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it’s hyper. Yet other times, it is deep and rich and loving. Community is always changing…sounds a little like middle schoolers doesn’t it?

I love CRASH small groups. I love that students have a place where they are heard, a place where they practice hearing one another and a place where they are in community. Preteens are constantly seeking out places where they belong and it is my hope that these small groups serve as an entryway for the church to be that place in their lives, that place where they will always belong, belong to one another and belong to God.

-Nicole

If its true that it is hope that draws us out of bed each morning, the hope of change, of new challenge, meaningful relationships, or just that there is a new beginning. Then discovering, determining, or choosing where we will find our hope is an important process for everyone to go through, periodically.

As a parent we see changes in our kids and we wonder what do they mean. Is my child, mad, sad, happy (why), lonely, fully engaged? And once I determine what these changes are, well what do I do? Staying engaged in our kids life creates avenues for you to speak and share.

As our kids ring in a new year, they often look to the future (or at least the next few months) with hope and youthful optimism. Hope is a good thing—it’s part of how God motivates us to keep growing and moving forward.

The danger, though, is that hope can become distorted into “if only” thinking. A daughter’s hope to do well in school can become twisted into thinking her college future is set “if only” she can get an A in biology. Your son who plays in the Marching Band may think he’ll feel better about himself “if only” the band wins the regional competition.

That’s why it’s important to talk with your child about the difference between having hope in “if only” scenarios and having hope in a God who cares. Your child’s desires for the future may not come true, but they can still trust that God loves them and will guide them in their life.

Your child cares what you think so how about talking with them about your hopes for this New Year. Whether you actually write out your resolutions or simply share them over dinner, ask the question of how it might feel if goals and dreams go unfulfilled.

Does your son or daughter know where to put their hope if plans don’t go their way? Offer Proverbs 16:9,

“The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps”, God is in control, and He cares for us”.

Rather than settling for an “if only” attitude, we can have confidence that God’s desires what is best for us.

-Jeff Lindsay

Hey All!

Let me be one of the first people to wish you a happy 2013. Wow, the holidays came and went fast. It is hard to believe they are in the rear view mirror once again. Now that they are over and behind us, we are left with a fresh slate and the blank canvas of a new year to paint any way we see fit.

Starting a new year makes me think of resolutions… and I usually dislike the concept of New Year resolutions! I am somewhat of a realist who believes that if someone wants/needs to change something, they can and should do it as soon as possible, rather than waiting for a holiday or a number on a calendar to tell them to do so. New Year resolutions have always seemed a bit lame to me and I have never taken them all that seriously.

But this year is different. I have been thinking long and hard about what has changed me to warm up to the idea of making resolutions. I believe the change in me has been a softened heart and a compassion for this world. There have been some major tragedies in recent months. The school shooting in Connecticut, the revolution in Syria, the rape and death of a female student in India, the shooting and death of a high school friend of mine in Minneapolis, hurricane Sandy and the devastation that followed, the ongoing struggles and war in the Middle east, and so on and so on and so on.

Humanities response in these situations has been to love the hurting and change where change is needed. I find myself resonating with idea. I want to be ever more compassionate, less wiling to approach the world with sarcasm and more willing to love as well. It is in this idea that I find my own personal response and warming to resolution. This world needs us to respond in love and promote change for good.

My hope for you (and myself) is that you welcome change and choose to love in new and profound ways this year, even if it means committing to a New Year resolution.

-Aaron

This post is inspired by “Talking to Children About Tragedies.” An article by Michele Borba.

This past week we have been abruptly and painfully reminded that tragedy is all around us. Tragedies, like the shooting in CT, are difficult enough for adults to try and understand, let alone our kids.

So how should we, the adults in their lives, respond? Teachable moments become available in times of crisis. But what do we say? How can we model for our children how to process and react to tragedy?

Whenever you discuss tragedy with children, Dr. Michele Borba suggests 4 elements you can use as a guide. To help you remember the parts, just think of the word TALK.

T - Tune in to your child’s emotional state. As the events unfold, observe your child’s reaction. With your ears, eyes, and heart watch closely to see how your child handles the news. For instance, are they afraid to be alone, having nightmares, losing focus, having tantrums or other unexpected behavior? Don’t be afraid to seek additional help if you are concerned.

A – Assure safety and be available. A top priority in any tragedy is to assure your child that they are not in danger. Be with them. Give extra hugs, spend longer tucker them in. Be available and present.

L – Listen patiently. Kids need to know that it is okay to talk about the event and share their feelings. Not all kids feel comfortable talking or they may not have the words. Girls are more likely comfortable with face-to-face conversation, while boys are more likely comfortable with side-by-side conversations that occur during other activities. However they choose to communicate, be patient with them.

K – Kindle empathy and do something positive. One of the best ways to reduce feelings of hopelessness is to find ways to help the affected community. Empathy is the answer to violence and cruelty. One easy way to nurture empathy is to encourage your child to imagine being the people on the news. Ask, “How would you feel if that was you? What do you think they need?” Then help your child develop a positive course of action and carry it out.

It’s almost Christmas. Which means Advent is almost over, the waiting is almost over. The wait to celebrate the birth of our Savior. The day when Jesus came down to be here on Earth with us.

I Thank God, the wait is almost over.

Because we need God with us. Especially now. And because of Christmas, we know God is here.  Because of Christmas Jesus was born, born so he could grow up and one day die on a cross, in order to be resurrected, in order to give us hope.

Hope that we will be able to stand in the face of evil and declare a different story. To tell the world that evil won’t win. Evil can’t win, because Jesus has already won! Jesus won when he beat death, when he was resurrected!

And it all began on a Christmas morning long, long ago, when God came down, to give us hope.

And hope is exactly what we need in times like this.

We never realize how important hope is until we lose it. So on behalf of our brothers and sisters in CT, who may have lost their hope right now, let’s claim it for them. Let’s proclaim hope to the world this Christmas season.

And let’s help our children do the same.

May your family have a Merry Christmas, filled with hope.

-Nicole Lindsay

The Christmas season is awesome. Our tradition is to decorate our house with everything Christmas including a fairly elaborate Department 56 set up and the nativity set my mother made us many years ago to celebrate the coming of our Lord and savior. Speaking of Jesus, I recently was holding a newborn baby, I thought back to the first Christmas imagining for a moment what Mary must have felt like holding the Son of God?  On the one hand, Jesus needed her at that moment more than anything else. His life and our eternal hope, rested in Mary’s hands. On the other hand, Mary needed Jesus too for her life and needs. I think that’s what Colossians 1:16-17 suggests. How about that?

To think that Jesus would leave His throne in heaven to become the baby born into this world to live and die for our sake is almost too overwhelming to believe! Yet this is the Christmas message. Jesus did all of that for you and for me and for everyone else, who would believe. This is why Colonial’s Youth department prayer is that you are blessed with a new sense of this awesome, true story. 

As a minister, a father, a husband and a friend, I am encouraged to and thus encourage you as well to reflect on Jesus this Christmas. Then maybe share the gift of the Jesus of Christmas with someone along your Advent journey. If you don’t want to use words then maybe choose an idea from this website!

Merry Christmas Season to you all!

-Jeff

If you don’t love snow and the holiday season, you are probably pretty miserable right now. I on the other hand love snow, love winter, and love love love the holidays.

There are so many things to be happy about this time of year. We get to take a break from school and work, see close friends and family, give and receive gifts, and enjoy the beauty of this great state. There are also many other things to grab our attention. Just thinking about all of the stuff I have to do to get ready for Christmas stresses me out. If you were to look at my calendar, every day until January 2nd has some sort of commitment or event scheduled.

And then… the Holy Spirit whispers in my ear. Slow down. Remember who and what you are celebrating, not just the celebration. It is far to easy to loose sight of the meaning behind the joy we embrace this time of year. I always end up needing a little kick in the butt to remember.

Take a moment today to refocus. Be conscious of Jesus birth, life, and death. When I do this, it brings me peace and assuredness. It also makes the fun things that I do this time of year that much more special. Romans 15:13 says,

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Remember why we celebrate this time of year and may God fill you with joy, peace, and hope!

-Aaron

We are blessed with incredible volunteers in the youth ministry at Colonial. In fact they are the lifeline of this ministry. From student leaders to adult leaders, they bring the energy, enthusiasm, and ability to create a person connection for students. They are important and beloved people in the lives of your students and we want you to know who they are!

So each month, here on the blog, we will have a volunteer interview! Stay tuned every month to catch an insight into the lives of those who have been impacting your students.

This first month our interview is with Andrew Danielson. Andrew is technically not a volunteer, rather he is our Super Ministry Intern! He is behind the scenes making everything happen and upfront leading program. Andrew brings so much humor and joy to the staff and to the youth, and has a deep passion for Colonial and ministry. We love him and he has made a difference in the lives of so many students.

So take some time and get to know Andrew!

1. How did you first become involved with Colonial Church?
I’ve been attending Colonial Church since I was an infant. I was baptized , raised, and confirmed here at church. Colonial Church has been a huge part of my life.

2. What made you want to volunteer in the ministry here?
I participated in the youth group as a student, and I always viewed my small group leaders and counselors as people that were good role models, and were actively trying to be a part of my life. I wanted to be able to have the same impact on someone else. When I was given the opportunity to first be a small group leader, I didn’t have any doubts that it would be something I wanted to do.

3. Favorite/ Most meaningful scripture verse? <
Philippians 2:14-18 “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.”

I like this verse because it shows what drives and motivates us as Christians to act the way we do. It also tells us about the contradiction between the Christian lifestyle, and the rest of society. The verse as a whole gives me confidence in my beliefs and peace of mind that what i’m doing is what the Lord wants.

4. How has volunteering here affected/shaped your faith?
My time here as a volunteer and an employee has had a huge impact on my faith. I’ve been blessed to be able to grow and understand the role that ministry has in my life, and to be surrounded by such kind and faithful co-workers.

5. Favorite youth group memory?
When I was a student, one night, the theme was “Spam”. We played hot potato with a brick of Spam, and had relay races that involved throwing the Spam to a team mate. It doesn’t get more awesome than that.

6. What is your favorite middle school memory?
In 7th grade, I was in boys choir. We sang the Pokemon theme song, and had red hats just like the main character. We got to come up with our own choreography and everything. Needless to say, it was elaborate.

7. Tell us a little about you.
I’m 20 years old, and I am currently living in Richfield. I’m an intern here at Colonial, and a part-time student at Normandale College.

8. What are some of your plans for the future?
For starters, I would like to finish college. Ideally, I would like to find a career in ministry, or non-profit work. My experiences with the youth ministry has made it clear that I would like to keep working with middle school aged students. Also, one day, I want to become a famous bluegrass musician. Never hurts to set the bar high, right?

9. How can we pray for you as you serve in the youth ministry?
I would love for you to pray that I can continue to learn more about youth ministry, and provide the students with a place where they can form a personal relationship with Jesus.

10. Would you rather get in a fight with 100 duck sized horses, or one horse sized duck?
Easy. The horse sized duck. All you need is a few loaves of bread to distract him, and you can make a clean getaway.

It’s been a while since we posted on here. I’m sure you’ve all been checking every day to see when we’d post! We’ll get better, I promise.

As many of you know, the Colonial youth ministry has been in transition this fall with a new high school director, a new intern, as well as a new supervisor. Only one out of 4 staff members have stayed in the same position (Nicole-3rd year as middle school director).

Talk about a lot of change.

Working with middle schoolers, I often hear a lot of words to describe preteens. Think for a minute, if you were going to describe preteens (your own child, or a child you know), in one word, what would it be?

Crazy. Hyper. Loud. Crazy…

Pretty common descriptions of middle schoolers right? But the word I would use is, changing.

Middle schoolers are in an extended period of change and transition that takes them from childhood towards adulthood.

Physically: their bodies are changing. Socially: their school environment is changing, and their friends are likely changing. Emotionally: their moods are changing (constantly), their interests are changing. Mentally: the way they think and process is changing. Spiritually: their faith is changing. Everything around them is changing.

And that can be overwhelming.

And on top of that, tweens and teens often have a hard time articulating why they feel the way they feel.

Think about a time in your life when you experienced change. There are likely dozens examples in your life when you have been in transition. And to some degree, those times create anxiety, change can be scary. The unknown is hard to enter into. We’ve all been there and experienced the fear, the questioning, the self-awareness, and even the excitement.

Now imagine if you had to live in that world every single day for 3 or 4 years straight.

Welcome to Middle School.

I recently met a youth pastor from Florida, who wrote an article for a magazine, entitled “5 Things Your Teen Won’t Tell You.”

I wanted to share this article with you as your family enters into, are in the midst of, or coming out the other side of the teenage years with your own children. May this be a helpful reminder for parents and youth leaders alike, to not only hear what teenagers are saying, but to hear what they aren’t saying as they live in a world full of changes.

-Nicole

Every year after camp I am flooded with the question, “how was it?!” As much as I want to answer that question, I don’t think the people asking want to stand there as I talk about how it was for the next hour!

You can’t sum up camp with one word. It’s too much. Too much happened to describe it in a word, a sentence or even a paragraph!

But a blog will do.

I could tell you about the games (like our very own Hunger Games), about the camp activities (like the blob), or even about Club (Pyro 2 Holy Ground). I could tell you all about those things and it would entertain you, encourage you, spark your imagination and make you wish you were there.

But instead I’m going to tell you some stories.

One camper signed up two days before camp. He didn’t go to school with anyone else, in fact he didn’t know a single person going. I met him two days before and invited him, and he showed up! By the time the bus reached McGregor this camper was a part of the community. He joined a cabin that had all been together for the last two years, but that didn’t matter, they accepted him and welcomed him-as if he was a regular part of the group, from day one. At the end of his week he said at the closing bonfire that he had never been to a place like this. He had never heard about God in a way that felt so relevant to him and been so welcomed. We’re hoping to see him at Confirmation this fall.

One cabin of boys has known each other for years. They came, wanting to be in the same cabin. We prepared the counselors for their inevitable tension of being in such close proximity for an entire week. However as the week went on, and they began to share stories with one another during cabin time and being led by their counselors, these boys bonded on a whole new level. The counselors described it like this. At the beginning of the week they couldn’t pull two of the boys apart, they were constantly teasing each other and causing fights. However after a few deep conversations as a cabin, their counselors shared that by the end of the week, they still couldn’t pull these two boys apart. But now, it was for an entirely different reason. After one of these talks, things just clicked for them. They realized how close their friendship was and now were spending all their time together with no tensions, no teasing and no fighting. A 180-degree turn from how their friendship was before, to how it is now.

At Pyro 2 we have fun. A lot of fun. We try to do things that you could only do at camp! One 8th grade camper came running up to me after one game in particular. This game was our very own Color Run, where we throw powder paint on each other, so you end up as a walking rainbow! She found me after the game and came, running, jumping and screaming in my face, and then tackled me as she yelled, “THIS IS THE BEST THING WE HAVE EVER DONE!” Her and the girls from her cabin were filled with such joy, expressed with enough laughter and smiles to make your cheeks hurt, and that kind of joy, is just not shown enough in this world! At camp we want campers to play. To slow down and enjoy, because so often they are trapped in the busyness of routines and things they have to get done. But at camp they get to be kids, they get to throw paint powder at each other and just have fun, together. To see the joy in this camper, and on all the camper’s faces, is worth every long minute of clean up.

There are so many reasons why I love camp. But ultimately, I love camp because it is the time when we, as a Christian community are at our best. We welcome and accept one another, we grow in meaningful relationships, we find healing, and we have a whole lot of fun!

Shouldn’t life always be like this?

-Nicole

Summer is near and this time of year I am always met with feelings of sadness, great joy, nervousness and hopeful expectation. One of the hardest things about being a youth pastor is saying goodbye to students that I have grown to love, which we will do, as we send our graduating seniors off to college on Baccalaureate Sunday, June 3^rd. At the same time one of the most exciting aspects of my job is to welcome in new students and build new relationships there, which we will do, when the 5^th graders join CRASH. But before I prepare for next year, I wanted to reflect on this past year. A year filled with new chapters, new traditions, and new faces.

New chapters marked the year as our wonderful intern, Andrew, finished his time here in May. We were grateful to have had another person invest in these students and serve willingly and sincerely. You can read his reflections here. Also this year was Brian Jones’ final year as a youth pastor. He will transition into the role of Colonial’s Minister of Mission. We have begun the search to fill the role of High School Director. This new chapter is bittersweet, as Brian passes on the torch, after seven years of youth ministry at Colonial.

This year also saw many new traditions. At Collision we created “take the shot or take the car.” You can read details about that here. Week after week the impossible shot remained impossible. Until, at the very end of the year, a 10^th grade boy came for the first time and made the shot! You can’t imagine the chaos that broke out, making that a night to remember.

With new traditions like this, and old traditions like Pork and Beans, students were bringing new friends to youth group. As a staff we are always inspired when we see new faces at youth group, because we believe a healthy youth group is one where kids are coming to know Jesus and inviting their friends to do likewise. The Holy Spirit is at work within our students when they encourage others to join them at church. Numbers do not drive our ministry, but just to help you visualize, CRASH saw 42 new faces this year and 85% of those new faces came 3 or more times. Wow. Our students are visibly living out the idea that everyone is welcome.

I could go on and on, but blog posts are supposed to be short right? What an incredible year it has been, witnessing all that God is doing in the lives of these students!

-Nicole

We recently celebrated the 5th grade milestone at Colonial and I had the opportunity to be there and celebrate these students, encouraging them to join CRASH next year. First things first: I am clearly not a parent. However, through studying childhood development and my past 5 years on staff, I came up with 3 suggestions I would offer parents to encourage faith in their tweens (11-13 year olds). But believe me I’m aware I’m not telling you anything you parents don’t already know.

Tweens are just beginning to enter in to the cognitive development stage called Formal Operational. And what that means is they are beginning to develop abstract thoughts and reasoning. So they are moving away from their childhood faith of WHAT do I believe, into their teenage faith of WHY should I believe? And as a parent I believe there are 3 things you can do to help your children answer that question, WHY should I believe.

The first, consistency. Make going to church a habit as much as you can in your busy lives. If your child grows up going to church as the norm for your family, then that not only implies priority but it becomes their routine. And the longer you can develop this habit as your children get older, studies show the more likely it will be that they will maintain this habit when they move out on their own, simply because it’s their normal routine.

Second, tweens have an incredibly difficult time expressing their faith. You as parents can help your teens form those skills to articulate their faith when you can be specific and tell your kids what you believe and why. You don’t need to be a theological expert, just practice bringing God up in normal conversation. You can share stories from your life when you encountered God. Why do you read the Bible? Why does God care about the music you listen to in the car? When has God answered your prayers? How do you know Jesus loves you’re Your children need to see how faith is a part of their every day life, and who better to teach them than the people who are with them every day. When you talk about your faith to your children, they begin to develop the tools to imitate that process with their own faith.

The third thought I’d like to offer you is this, let your children experience the faith you talk about. For example, if service is a big part of your faith, allow your child to determine a family service project they are interested in. If musical worship is a big part of your faith than introduce them to some of your favorite songs next time you are in the car. If reading scripture speaks clearly to you, spend some time opening up your Bible together. In creative ways, demonstrate to your children how you live faithfully. . in big and little ways, those moments will become sacred memories of times when God showed up.

And that is what we hope to support you in at CRASH. We love creating mountaintop moments for your children to encounter God like Pyro 2 for example, but we know how much more significant faith development is when children experience God alongside their parents. Myself and my leadership team know what a privilege it is for you to trust us with your children each week. Our ultimate goal is to carry on what you are doing at home. We love teaming up with you as your child begins answering the question, why should I believe? Thank you for allowing us to be on your team.

-Nicole

In the fall of 2004 The Gallup Organization was commissioned to survey who felt “very satisfied” with their youth group. What do you suppose was the greatest identifier of whether a teenager was a “very satisfied” youth group attender?

It was “friendliness.”

An overwhelming 86% who felt their youth group experience was very satisfying said their youth group was a very friendly place. Because of the perceived friendliness, they felt loved and accepted and experienced a deeper sense of belonging.

Healthy friendships build you up and draw you closer to God; unhealthy friendships bring you down and cause you to compromise what you know is right. Your friends help determine the direction and quality of your life!

As youth leaders, we commit to working hard to make youth group an environment that is a comfortable place to invite guests. But guests won’t return for a second visit unless they experience real friendships among their peers. Ultimately, the level of friendliness within a youth group is determined by the youth themselves!

Well, we all know that among youth culture cliques are the norm. In order to foster friendships within the youth group we work hard to break down those cliques.

• We work hard to get to know students interests so we can introduce them to other students who have those same interests, creating an “affinity group” to gather around. For example: basketball lovers, musicians, Hunger Games fans (actually, that’s just about all of them).
• We are intentional about offering a “quick plug-in.” Students need not “apply” or jump through hoops to join us at youth group. They are welcomed into small groups right away.
• Students (and leaders) are encouraged to get together outside of regular Wednesday times. In fact, we’ll occasionally program in these “spontaneous” hang-out times, like one of our “Man-fests” for instance.
• Gossip, slander and jealousy are not tolerated. We have a zero tolerance policy for our adult leaders so that it is modeled and leaders aren’t shy about calling it out if they see it in students. Gossip, slander and jealosy are the viruses which infect teenage friendships (well, all relationships!). This must be modeled from the top down.
• Students are habitually encouraged and praised by caring adults to step “outside of their comfort zone.”
• Our leadership team works to model healthy friendships outside of youth group. You must practice what you preach.
• Adult leaders in the youth ministry will commit to speaking to three or more kids individually each week to tell them something good that was noticed about them that week (a good question, a great catch, a sincere prayer, and so on). And also to ask them in small groups to give us something specific we can pray about for them.

The prayer is that more students will be infected with a passion for friendship-building, modeled from the top down. It will be contagious friendliness that then can influence the culture of the youth group from the bottom up.

Another finding from The Gallup Organization was that those who thought their group to be friendly was that they experienced spiritual transformation. If students are drawn to a youth ministry’s friendship climate, they’ll likely grow spiritually for at least two reasons:

1. First, if they’re not very alive spiritually, they’ll be exposed to spiritual role models and biblical teaching.
2. Second, since the Christian life is meant to be lived in community, they’ll experience the joy of connection to like-minded peers who support their spiritual journey.

I just sent a first time visitor a follow-up text. He replied, “Oh thanks a lot! It was a lot of fun being there. Good welcoming environment!” It is text messages like that that remind us that our youth leaders are doing their jobs and makes everything worth it.

It’s a big week in the sporting world with Kentucky wrapping up the Final Four, and the Masters and Opening Day beginning later this week.

This made me think about sports in youth ministry, but more specifically games, and why we play games.

Below are 4 reasons that Nicole and I hold in common:

1. Games are an ideal entry-level activity for new students because fun and playing is universal. To have a sense of fun and playfulness in youth ministry is critical if you want to engage and welcome new students.

2. Games build community, acceptance and belonging. Shared experiences become shared memories. At CRASH we only play games that are inclusive. This means that anyone can do the tasks and participate.  You don’t need any special skills or be a world class athlete.

Unfortunately, a lot of the joy of games has disappeared with competitive sports being more and more prevalent, squeezing out intramural or club league sports.  The extremely talented play those, while the rest of us watch. Games need to be played by all,
not just observed!  This is a value of our youth ministry at Colonial.

3. Students need a connection point because many of today’s activities are solitary experiences: computer, TV, video games, etc. But that can limit character development that comes through face-to-face social interactions. Games can promote interdependence, learning how to work together as a team toward one goal.

4. Games are used to break down social barriers that students put up out of their pure awkwardness or social inexperience. This can prohibits new relationships to blossom or deeper relationships to grow. To laugh and play together helps break down these barriers in a way that words only can’t!

5. God is the one who created laughter, so when we experience joy and laughter together in community, I believe we are reflecting the nature of our Creator.

I couldn’t stop at 4, so at the risk of making the title be even more nonsensical and obscure I pressed forward with #5. Enjoy!

At youth group we’ve played a “life sized” version of Connect Four where 70 jr. high students competed boys versus girls. At Collision (high school youth group) a favorite is has always been Four on a Couch that can get rowdy because it involves memorizing names. We’ve also modified Four Square – the old playground favorite– into 9 Square so we can include more students.

Games are an important part of youth ministry for the four five reasons listed above, plus many, many more. Besides, they’re fun.

Andrew Zhao has been interning with the youth ministry for several months now. Andrew is getting his Masters of Divinity degree from Bethel University with a focus in youth ministry. I felt like it was important for Andrew to share in his owns words some of what the experience has meant to him thus far. (Fun fact: this Summer Andrew joined with 4 friends to ride their bikes across the country.)

My Internship
What I have really enjoyed about my internship is the opportunity to be exposed to working in a church environment and its culture, organizational aspects, community, and, of course, the youth ministry. It’s been a great holistic experience that I’ve greatly appreciated since my previous experience working with youth has mainly comprised of a camp setting.

At this point, I come into Colonial three times a week. I spend most of my time with Brian as we do the planning and preparation for Wednesday night’s youth group and this consists of outlining teaching lessons, coming up with fun games that help with teambuilding and connecting the kids to one another, small group questions, and just general logistics as it deals with program flow and supplies. Overall, one of the things I have to constantly be mindful of is how our activities are connecting with the kids and if our programs and agendas are faithful to our objectives and values as a youth ministry.

There are also times when Brian gives me more ownership and responsibility and I’ve taught about 5 times now. I once planned an entire evening’s programming as we did a special Water Project Night, where the students were able to learn facts about the water problem in poorer countries and experience some of it themselves through simulation stations like walking a certain distance with full buckets of water or an economy exercise to see how much things are worth relatively for us and for other countries.

I help out with field trips (we went to Impact Lives one night), retreats (we went to Covenant Pines as a confirmation group and junior high group), and other events (junior high guys night out, leaders bowling trip, etc.). My experience has also consisted of much more than just “work” stuff. I come in every other week or so and play volleyball and basketball with some of the other leaders and some of the kids. I get to develop relationships with a lot of the guys and talk about music, sports, dating, and other life stuff, which I’ve appreciated.

Being able to see how the youth ministry interacts and engages with the other ministries is helpful as well. We share some supplies and some spaces (closets/gym, etc.) with them and it’s important to be mindful of other groups when we’re trying to accomplish our goals and purposes.

Connecting with the Students
The greatest thing about ministry is the ability and opportunity to connect with people. While planning, organizing, facilitating, and teaching are important and essential responsibilities for any youth ministry leader, the commitment to relationships is key both with other leaders and with the students.

For me, as the Colonial Church Youth intern, it starts with Brian Jones and Nicole Lindsay. I’ve been able to watch and work with them as they’ve created meaningful environments that communicate Jesus and God’s love week in and week out. It’s also been great seeing Nicole interact with her dad here at church and Brian with Danielle, Campbell, and Charlotte. Church is family and is made up of families.

Next comes the pleasure of developing relationships with the other youth group volunteer leaders. It’s always encouraging to see people take the time to invest in these students and commit to being a part of their lives. I get to see them engage with the kids weekly and also have the opportunity to lead worship with a few of them during the high school youth group. I also lead a small group of 10^th grade high school boys with one of the leaders, Christian, and that has been one of my highlights as an intern.

My role and experience in that group really epitomizes for me the importance and life-giving nature of youth ministry. On any given Wednesday night, our small group attendance can range from 3-9 guys and they mainly come from Edina High School, so they see each other multiple times a week. However, because they attend Colonial Church together, they are able to have a deeper connection and relationship that goes beyond just being classmates. Most of them went through confirmation at the same time and through youth group, have been able to serve, learn, and grow together.

It’s exciting for me to see these guys in a stage of their lives where they are continuing to understand and embrace who they are all while living in fellowship and learning about God’s character. I love how each guy is so unique and brings his interests and personality to our small group. As an intern, an aspiring youth pastor, and a friend, I am able to care for these guys and walk alongside them as they journey through life seeking for purpose, relationships, answers, hope and love.

Andrew

Valentine’s day is a week away. And naturally at CRASH, for the next two weeks we will take full advantage of this calendar holiday to talk about dating.

For middle schoolers, navigating the world of dating can be a huge challenge. There are so many voices surrounding them telling them what to think, feel and believe about love, dating and sexuality. But if recent research is correct in showing how young people reflect the values of their parents, then be encouraged that parents, you have a strong voice here. Your students listen to you and they want to hear from you. Especially about their new favorite topic: the opposite sex.

At some point, likely in the middle school years, your student will begin the delicate life phase of puberty. Those preteen and early teen years will bring about a sudden interest in the opposite sex, and if that freaks you out, you’re not alone. It’s likely that your students won’t know what to think about this newfound interest either!

Our challenge as the church, as adults and parents, is to counter their expectation that we will default to NO regarding this topic. We need to surprise them by affirming that YES, we actually think love, dating, and sex are all pretty great…within moderation intended to honor the value of each person involved.

The truth of the matter is, sexuality is just a part of our human existence. We can’t limit our influence to lowering the value of sex or sexuality so that young people won’t do it. But instead, let us aim to deepen the value of each student as a child of God, so that young people will feel confident in choosing not to rush or misuse this gift from God.

Here are some ideas on where to start:

Have “the talk”… often. It’s awkward, it just is. But by beginning this ongoing conversation you will show your student that you are a safe source of knowledge.

Choose to be an active listener. And then, just listen. You might ask questions like, “Are any of your friends dating?” “What kind of boy/girl are you looking for?” “Is dating important to you?” By continuing to ask questions, you approach the topic in a non-threatening way and your student may even choose one to open up on.

Keep track of their relationships/friendships. Ask students who they spend time with, meet their friends, and know their friend’s curfews.

Use movies, television, and music as an entryway. As you well know, sex is everywhere in media today, but we can use these powerful influencers as tools to begin talking to our young people.

Assist your student in determining appropriate boundaries. Talk with other parents about curfews and expectations regarding appropriate ages to date, etc. Learn from parents who have been there already.

Model your family values through behavior. As you already know and the research verifies, you as parents or key adults in your child’s life, have the largest influence on young people today.
So parents, stepparents, adopted parents, grandparents… keep up the good work!

And of course, I’m always available to talk more about this if you are interested.
-Nicole

Post influenced by D. Scott Miller
Slant33.com

On Wednesday, January 25^th, students and adult leaders from Collision and Confo visited the non-profit organization – Impact Lives – in St. Louis Park to learn about world poverty and hunger and to help pack meals for those very same folks. Through service learning and community partnerships, Impact Lives seeks to train and equip people to create sustainable change globally and to provide short-term relief for those in need. Their self-professed goal is to “transform the lives of people locally and around the world by providing leadership training, expanded self-awareness and cross-cultural humanitarian experiences.”

Our group got to tour through an exhibit that portrayed conditions in places like Haiti and India. We learned about poor hospital conditions, the difficulties in getting water, orphanages, hunger, sex trade, and the disproportionate distribution of wealth and resources on our planet. Our problems when compared to these travesties were really put into perspective. Students and adults alike left with a stronger awareness of global poverty, an appreciation of what we have, and a conviction to help and live differently.

We divided into five teams and packed meal bags that were filled with vegetables, vitamins, soy, and rice. Groups created assembly lines that divvied up the various tasks of scooping, weighing, sealing, and packing. With each box holding 36 400 gram bags of food, the group from Colonial was able to fill over 20 boxes.

The overall experience was a good one for everyone involved. The high school group did a Water Project night back in November, where they were able to learn about unclean water facts in other countries, do simulations to understand what it was like to have to gather their own water, calculate their daily water usage, and have the opportunity to share what they’d learned. We also spent a couple of months collecting money that we were able to give to the folks at Impact Lives.

Visit the youth Facebook page for some photos of the event.

I have said before that I see my mission here at Colonial in very simple terms: I am to love God, love teenagers, and find other adults who do those things as well.

A strong team of adults who pour their lives into students is the backbone of a healthy youth ministry. In fact, the size and health of a youth ministry is directly proportional to the number of adults invested in the program.

Let’s look at two scenarios:

A. A lone youth worker is in a room with 40 jr. high students or

B. A youth worker invests in 10 adults who love God and love teenagers, and equips and encourages those volunteer leaders to minister to those same 40 jr. high students.

Which is the healthier environment for students to encounter Christ? In which environment do students feel most loved and cared for? In which environment are students more likely to invite their friends? In which environment is the youth worker less likely to question is sanity and life choices?

I hope for each of those questions you immediately answered B, the environment where there is a strong team of adults investing in students! Needless to say, we value the adults (and student leaders) who invest in Colonial’s youth program and we wanted you to know that it is these volunteers who are responsible for the great youth ministry we have at Colonial.

Malcolm Gladwell published a post in the New Yorker about the differences between ketchup and mustard. I encourage you to read the entire article. It’s great. But I’ll sum it up quickly and tell you how it relates to the youth ministry here at Colonial Church.

Put simply, there are a variety of mustard tastes but just one ketchup to rule them all – Heinz. While classic yellow mustard is still popular, you can also get your hands on a variety Dijon mustards, honey mustards, and more, in a wide variety of flavors and textures, and you choose your mustard according to your mood. I think we have 4 types/flavors in our fridge at home.

Seeing that there was money made in differentiating mustard the same was tried with Ketchup. Chunky varieties were made (Why not just use salsa?), smokey flavors were created (How is that different from BBQ sauce?), and other experimental flavors were rolled out with marketing clout. They are flopped miserably.

The reason? Heinz ketchup is considered a perfect food. There are professional food tasters that are so skilled they get upwards of a million dollars a year. These tasters meticulously rate foods in a ridiculous numbers of categories in flavor, texture, smell, aftertaste, and on and on it goes. Heinz ketchup was one of the very rare foods that was found to be perfect. All the individual ingredients in Heinz ketchup blend together in such as way that it’s impossible to improve it, much less think about spinning off a Dijon variety.

But there is one problem. While Heinz ketchup is a perfect food, only 70% of people like it. It’s not that they don’t like Heinz, they don’t like ketchup, period. Ask Nicole if she likes condiments – she’s part of the 30% who are totally ketchup free.

Hang in there, we’re getting to how ketchup and mustard relate to the youth ministry at Colonial.

We live in a culture that is very individualized and accustomed to finding solutions are tailored specifically to them. You don’t want ketchup on your Whopper? Fine. Have it your way. This mindset can influence – fairly so – the structure and planning of a ministry as well. It seems reasonable to tailor the ministry to fit specific habits of individuals. Wednesday evenings not work for you? Fine. We’ll start a special ministry program for you on Thursday mornings. That doesn’t work for you? OK, how about something tailored to you and a Monday evening? Oh, doesnt doesn’t work for you? Well…it could go on and on until we have 50 different varieties of ministry mustard.

The youth ministry at Colonial seeks to be Heinz ketchup. While the different personalities and skills of our leadership teams allow us to connect with students in a variety of ways (Maybe by grabbing a burger with them, topped with both ketchup and mustard?) our primary worship and gathering times are designed strictly to the ketchup principle.

Youth on Wednesday evenings – Crash for Jr. Highers and Collision for High schoolers – is programmed to reach as broad an audience as possible. We try to blend the elements in such a way that we have a perfect blend of worship, community, teaching, play, and memory making.

In fact, that we try so hard not to be mustard is the reason that it works so well as ketchup. The programming we sometimes have to say ‘no’ to helps us live to our values. I could give you two dozen reasons, but I’ll share the top 4:

1. We value community. To be ketchup insures that we meet together in larger groups, interact with one another, and get to know others. Before we break into small groups, we’ve had a large group community experience.
2. We value worship. I was chatting with a student a couple years back and she said that Colonial had the reputation of being the Jesus(y) youth group in town. Hmmm. I’ll take that as a compliment! We can be the Jesus(y) youth group because of collective worship. Too be too fragmented breaks that down because the relationships become too self-focused.
3. We value volunteer leadership. The youth ministry at Colonial absolutely could not exist without the 25+ leaders we have engaged on a weekly basis, both on Wednesday evenings and throughout the week connecting individually with students. Being ketchup on Wednesdays allows us to “pool” our people resources in a way that brings energy and enthusiasm.
4. We value fun. Our big, ketchup youth group is a lot of fun. It brings energy and carries huge momentum week-to-week, which in turn leads to depth as we flip back to number one on this list.

We can actually support our values by not becoming too fragmented. The downside, obviously, is that ketchup isn’t for every student. While we try to cast a net as wide as possible we realize that there will be certain students that just need something we can’t offer. We’re OK with that because we know there are some other super churches in town and by maintaining our focus we can help create something great on Wednesdays for the 70% of ketchup loving teenagers out there.

Yes, this whole post will be about t-shirts. I love youth group t-shirts. I have a vast collection over the years including 4 CRASH team t-shirts from last year.

When students come to CRASH they are immediately placed on one of four teams. These teams are made up of both genders and different grades, with leaders as team captains. Teams are entirely open meaning that any new student can hop right in. These teams are part of a year-long competition, ending with one team being crowned as the year’s champion.

Last year the Danceformers won the first CRASH Championship Trophy. Teams get points when they win the gym games, wear their color and the most points when they bring new friends. Of course, they also get points for wearing their team t-shirts.

The teams this year are Denim Venom, Hip Hop Opotamus, Krazy Krabs and The Illgrims. Random and silly I know.

The Team Captains came up with the names, colors and t-shirt designs this past summer at our leadership retreat. T-shirts will be on sale in early February and are completely optional for your students. They will be $10.

I’ll end with 3 good reasons why you might want to consider buying a t-shirt.

1. They look awesome. Seriously.
2. These teams represent 1 of 3 places to belong at CRASH. You belong to the whole CRASH community when you come. You belong to your small group made up of the same grade and same gender students. And you belong to your team where you play hard and create unity.
3. When students wear these t-shirts outside the walls of Colonial, other students ask them about their awesome shirts and this provides an easy way for students to invite their friends to come experience CRASH and the opportunity to even share a little about their faith with their friends!                                              –Nicole