It seems to me there are no dumb questions, but there are certainly questions that are not helpful. Not helpful questions, then, are the kind of questions parents ask kids that they cannot or should not have to answer.
Example. “What would you like for dinner tonight?” To a three year old. Developmentally, a three year old should not have to make that decision. Her world is safer when a parent decides what’s for dinner even if she doesn’t like what’s for dinner.
A child should never be asked a question if the answer to that question cannot be no. “Do you want to go to bed now?” is not a helpful question. It might even be a ‘d word’ question, if you get my drift. The better question is, “Which of these two books would you like me to read before bed tonight?” The decision has been made and kids can choose only what is developmentally appropriate for them to choose.
As parents, we are called to lead our children in the day-to-day, as well as the eternal stuff of life. We lead because we know better.
We want our kids to know and love Jesus for a lifetime. Going to church, praying, giving, serving, reading the Bible. That’s all part of getting to know and love Jesus. Asking your child if they want to go to church is probably in the category of questions that are not helpful. Framing why we go to church (to learn about Jesus), on the other hand, is. The same goes for praying and giving and serving and reading the Bible. All the spiritual disciplines that grow our faith.
I think we fear that if we don’t ask kids these kinds of questions, we are shoving religion down their throats. But, we are not peddling a religion. When we know and love Jesus ourselves, we are imparting a faith from deep within ourselves, a faith full of grace and life and hope. We yearn for our children to know Jesus too. When our children see our Bibles worn from reading on our bedside tables or our own heads bowed in fervent prayer, they know our faith is real and these spiritual disciplines are an invitation to a relationship, not the imposition of a religion.
So, here’s to questions that are helpful and age-appropriate and invitational. May they open up conversations that are life-giving and hope-filled and lead your family to grow in grace.
Partnering with you,
Anne-Marie